Here’s a picture of me with Theo on a tree top trail at a local farm this morning. If I had put this on my personal page I would have written something like ‘had SO much fun climbing trees today’. But the expression on my face would make that hard to believe, and my one rule on this page is that I don’t do bullshit.
I woke up this morning on a mission to become a more adventurous and fun mum. I decided I’ve been somewhat of a grumpy old bat this week and insisted on taking Theo up into the trees myself. I could see Zac looked a bit doubtful. So I suggested he walked with Daisy to the end of the trail and we would meet him there. Off they went. At this point I hadn’t realised the ‘end’ was 328 miles away.
Theo and I set off along the rope, with him creeping along at the pace of a comatose sloth, and I following shakily behind. He then decided halfway along that he couldn’t possibly go any further. So there I was, 80ft above the ground on a wobbly bit of rope the width of my little toe and a pissed off toddler. Well, shit. With difficulty I picked him up. I hobbled back to the start with a severely off kilter centre of gravity thanks to the two stone toddler screaming on my hip.
Zac was no where to be seen. Convenient.
When I got back to the start of the magical tree top trail, panting and embarrassed (I’d had to make twenty or so children turn around and go back to the start too because the rope wasn’t bloody wide enough to let anyone past), I noticed Theo was missing a wellie. Fabulous. I told him to stay put whilst I retrieved the wellie (tempting though it was to count my losses and leave it). I was really loving life by this point.
8 days later, Zac reappeared with Daisy, wondering why we hadn’t made it to the end of the trail. I calmly filled him in (I didn’t, I actually screamed in his face a bit).
Speaking of wellies, you may have noticed my rather fabulous Joules wellies in the picture. A Christmas present from Zac. Well they’re now buggered. I managed to catch one of the buckles on the netting and it pinged off into the thick thorn bushes below, never to be seen again. Brilliant.
Another highlight of the day was having my hands coated in sheep and goat saliva as a result of feeding them the unappetising dried granules we paid a fortune for at the start of our visit.
Next time I’ll be leaving the tree trails, soft play and zip wires to my darling husband. You’ll find me in the cafe.
HOWEVER, apart from the above, we actually had a pretty good time… I feel incredibly lucky to be able to do things like this with my little crew. Daisy and Theo were delighted and amazed by everything they saw (when Daisy wasn’t passed out in the buggy, and when Theo’s world wasn’t ending because I had brought the wrong flavour Ella’s Kitchen snack bar for him).
I’m realising more and more that there are no such thing as perfect days out when you have children. There will always be dramas, tantrums and ‘oh shit’ (literally) moments. But there will also be laughter, and a lot of it, if you learn not to let the rubbish bits get you down.