Valentine’s Day

I’ve enlisted the help of Zac for this post. With Valentines Day just around the corner we found ourselves reflecting on the journey we have been on together over the last 8 years. I’ve attached a photo of us on our Wedding Day. Look how naive and untroubled we look. So young. So innocent. So… rested.
I originally thought we could create a list of all the wonderful and romantic things that we have done for each other over the years. But no one wants to read that crap so, rather than get all soppy, we thought we would write about the things that have happened to us as parents to a toddler and a newborn. Happy Valentines Day Everyone!
Top Top 10 Most Horrific Things That Have Happened To Us Since We Became Parents.
10. The day Theo ate his own poo.
9. The time Daisy projectile vomited in Mummy’s open mouth whilst playing aeroplanes.
8. The day Mummy and Daddy heard a crunching noise in the garden. Theo had decided to eat a snail, evident by the small piece of shell on his chin. He seemed to like it though, more than anything Mummy has ever cooked.
7. When Daisy’s bowels detonated at the weigh in clinic covering every item of her clothing in shit. Because Mummy was just ‘popping out’ she had left the nappy bag at home. If it weren’t for the kindness of a stranger in the waiting room giving Daisy a spare baby grow, she would have gone home wearing a dress made from two muslins in the middle of January. Lesson learnt.
6. The time Mummy took Daisy to baby gymnastics and over exerted herself during stretches to ‘Wind The Bobbin Up’, causing her to very audibly trump in a room full of twenty or so mothers and babies. She blamed Daisy. No one believed her.
5. When Daddy found Theo rubbing his bare arse on Mummy’s pillow just before bath time in an apparent attempt to give her conjunctivitis. Daddy didn’t tell Mummy for a few weeks because she had pissed him off that day. Luckily she came away unscathed.
4. The afternoon Mummy walked into the living room and Theo had got hold of the remote and managed to somehow get one of the adult channels on the screen and was avidly watching a half naked woman writhing around on a leopard print bedspread.
3. When Mummy laughed at something Daddy said in the middle of the paint aisle at B&Q and peed herself. A lot. 
2. The day Mummy lost Theo at the Aquarium. 
1. And finally, Mummy’s personal favourite; the night Theo sharted in Daddy’s mouth. It’s came out with such force it travelled a whole foot and a half during a nighttime nappy change.
I have noticed a theme here. The most troubling events that occur in the first couple of years in a child’s life seems to centre largely around bodily fluids. We are fully aware the best is yet to come seeing as neither of them can talk yet and only one can walk at this point in time. God help us.


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